Of Love and Tolerance

Tolerance-noun

1.a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one's own; freedom from bigotry.

2.a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one's own.

3.interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc., foreign to one's own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint.

Love-noun

1.a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2.a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3.sexual passion or desire.

4.a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

5.(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?

6.a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.

7.sexual intercourse; copulation.

8.( initial capital letter ) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.

9.affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.

10.strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.

11.the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.

12.the benevolent affection of god for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.

It seems apparent, and I could very well be wrong, that many, perhaps the majority of the country, desire for the utmost value of our country and culture to be that of tolerance. I have imported the definition of tolerance in the form of a noun from dictionary.com. Now, as you may read, it is defined as a fair, objective, and permissive attitude. And I have placed the definition of love, defined in numerous ways, but I am most intrigued and drawn to the ninth one, affectionate concern for the well being of others. Is it just me, or do these seem a little contradictory, perhaps difficult to co-exist? Let's dive in a little bit, shall we?

The definition of tolerance would imply first that one is able to be fair and objective. This appears to cause a minor problem in that it would seem difficult for anyone to be completely fair and objective. Secondly, what exactly is this fair and objective power that I should put my trust, perhaps I may say faith, in to dole out the tolerance. Thirdly, is there a point at which something becomes the opposite, perhaps intolerable? And fourth, what is this point and what happens when it is crossed?

And another spectrum, I shall deal with the third main word, permissive. It appears mildly difficult to promote tolerance, for that appears contradictory to being permissive. In other words, is one not intolerable to protest others' intolerances? And who or what decides what is justifiable intolerance to intolerance?

Now, love is defined in many ways, but the main contradiction presented is that it is the showing of concern for another. I realize here that one could possibly show love and concern for the intolerant over there intolerance, but when does one cease to become loving? When the intolerant have become tolerant? Therefore, the core value remains tolerance, for a "tolerant" person would think it in the "intolerant's" well-being to become tolerant. And for love, how does one decide what is in another's well-being?

So I ask, do we need to be loved, tolerated, or loved to become tolerant of others? It appears as though there are problems with many things here, but attempting to stand with both love and tolerance seems a bit tricky, for tolerance sounds more like indifference, which is the opposite of love. But one must guide us, and to the fullest, for it seems impossible to love one into tolerance, for it sounds simply more like loving one into indifference. As an example, let's say a good friend's spouse has become unfaithful. Would I love that friend into being tolerant of their spouse's unfaithfulness? Perhaps some would say, but I might be more tempted to call that forgiveness, not tolerance.

But, my question is this: do we really want to become tolerant, or loving? Do we need to become indifferent, or forgiving? And does is trouble you that many see tolerance as the key to successful society? Does it seem to you that perhaps even the most tolerant have a point in which he or she becomes intolerant? But again, what is that point and who decides? How do we become tolerant to become tolerant? Frankly, that leaves me just a bit confused.

Why did Jesus have to die?

I have been reading through the New Testament this year, slowly, but surely. Currently, I am mumbling incoherently through the pages of Romans. I came across a passage that I think speaks truthfully into the age old apologetic question "Why did Jesus have to die?". Sometimes I think of little children asking this question, not yet fully understanding the basics of sin and death, but I can also think of adults asking, in a more apologetic fashion, the same question with the intent to preface the question with "If God is so powerful, and he knows everything, then why wouldn't He just save everyone, and why would He allow us to sin or create us if he knew the outcome?" A good question, but I am going to stick with the topic up top for now and let your mind explode while you wrestle with God's sovereignty.

Paul, in Roman 5:7-8, says the following:

"For one will scarcely die for a righteous person-though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die-but God shows his love for us in that while were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Now, whether Christian or not, I think that it's pretty easy to admit that at least we are all sinners in the Bible terms, whether you ascribe to it or not. But why did Jesus have to die? I think Paul tackles it here but also goes deeper into identifying a key relationship principle that perhaps maybe, Christian or not, sounds good.

Let's say, for instance, that a three good friends of yours is about to be executed by firing squad and you have one chance to step up and take the bullet because hey, you're a pretty good person and you think since you haven't done anything too bad, God will let you in. But whom shall you choose? You, having no idea what they believed or having any knowledge of Christ, yourself included, were unsure of their destiny. One was an upstanding person in your eyes. Always doing the "right thing." So in your own mind, your own value grid, God would let them into your idea of heaven because he or she is a "pretty good person." The second is more of a "good guy", sometimes doing good for you, other times doing what serves he or she the best. So, they may have to splaining to do to old St. Pete, but he would probably let this person in the pearly gates after they reconciled a few things. And the third, shesh, well they are the person you are constantly trying to help but won't follow your guidance. Always needy, always blowing it, always burning bridges, but you still love them. However, you're not so sure they would be able to reconcile their history with God.

So, who do ya pick? Well you might say the first one because they could keep on doing good if he or she lived. You might say they second because you want them to do a few more good deeds in order to have fewer things to reconcile. Or third, perhaps you need to choose the third one, but you really don't want to because you're not so sure they would turn it around if he or she lived. And hey, do you really want to die for someone who will probably trample on your grave?

Well, I think Jesus did and I think that's what Paul is saying. But more deeply, their is some truth to our condition, a bit of honesty from Jesus. Sometimes, we think of ourselves as any one of the three characters, so at times, it's easy to think "did Jesus really have to die.?" But Jesus comes in with some refreshing honesty about our condition and our relationships. Which kind of person do you really want as a friend? Imagine the conversations with each person you might have before the trigger is pulled? How would you explain about why you are or are not selecting them?

The conversation with the third one would have to be honest for the hope to rest that they might turn it around. The difference in what is commonly thought and Christianity is that we don't live on to do better works. The price has been paid and we don't fear another firing squad. We live on because our friend came honestly and said "I'm going to die for you." Jesus had to die because of our sin. But also because he is honest. My question is, do we live this out, not only in our relationship with Jesus, but with our friends and loved ones? Do we come honestly, or do we put them in our own grid of "goodness", decide then who we need to die for and who doesn't need it, and then choose to run from those who do need the honesty, while keeping the "upstanding" and the occasional "good" guy close by? In other words, the safe person? Or, do you perhaps take the bullet for many of the "unworthy" with the hope of hearing praise or perhaps someone else taking one for you, only to find that, oh yea, that bullet killed me, and I can't be around to hear the praise or for someone to save me, which makes me angry?

But does not the death of Christ imply something true about us? If not, then you, the doubter, are correct, it was senseless. But then who decides and what decides the spectrum of "upstanding, good, and unworthy." Perhaps then we are all that " unworthy third person." Yikes.

Playing God

So it has come to my attention as of late, ok well not really, but I have known for some time that one of my character flaws, thorns in my side in the words of Paul, it being judgmental. Shew....So I have begun as of late to examine carefully my judgmental attitude, in other words, what gives me the right? Well not a whole lot. My unfounded research on myself has drawn me to the conclusion that being judgmental is not primarily a sin against my neighbor, but against God.

I have discovered that key driver in being judgmental is not necessarily to "put others down so I feel good about me", but rather, to make myself God. Perhaps I am boring you the four of you, but hang with me a second. You see, for example, say someone is driving incredibly slow in the left lane (Urggg I can feel the judgmental slew of words already coming up from my black robed inner part). I find that what makes it so terrible is that for that moment I actually assume that I know better, that I would never and could never do such a thing. Two, I may even go further, assuming that if I taught that chap how to drive when he or she was younger, that I would have done a much better job than whoever taught them. Boom two birds with one stone. I may even go further, exclaiming outrage at the DMV for allowing this person to withhold a license to operate a vehicle. I may even venture a stab at the general public for allowing the DMV to continue with this outrage and demanding better instruction.

But all of that is to say, I am playing God. I want to control. Its almost as if I am saying to God, not just that person, "I can do it better than you." Additionally, there is a core assumption, the assumption or belief that I, Tyler, chose to drive safely to the gym and back today. Yes, I controlled all the circumstances to allow myself safe passage. Or better yet, to the homeless man, you see, I chose the right family to be born into. I decided that it would be great to have a family with a good income and I decided at the young age of 4 that only private school, college, and a graduate degree would do for me. Yes I was quite an ambitious lad. Really? But see you chose poorly, selecting that mental disorder and abusive family. I mean really, what were you thinking?

It humbles me greatly when I think about life in such a manner, probably because I spend the majority of my life living the other way, assuming I make the best choices and I hold the world in my hand. So I find that now, after all this rambling, that my repentance of being judgmental or murderous is warranted, but my repentance of the first commandment is needed.

Update: Ironically, I was listening to a sermon yesterday by Tim Keller which happened to be on this very topic. He said this, a quote from John Milton:

"The fastest way to become like Satan is to try to be God." (paraphrasing)- But for more, check out Tim Keller's podcast titled "Reconciliation", free on iTunes.

Total Depravity

So I haven't read in awhile and I had something interesting happen today, so I have been contemplating how to relate what happened today to a blog topic....so here goes...

Today I was visiting a home improvement store that I tend to frequent, perhaps you might call it my "home away from home", and you could build one with all the things held within the store. So I was perusing as I usually do, looking at various items I have no intention to buy. But, in this moment, I was looking at some pipe insulation and trying to guess the size since it wasn't marked in any place. Then, suddenly, I caught a orange shirt in my periphery coming down the isle like a bull charging a matador, just as I was turning to continue down the isle. I felt the heat on my back and I walked hastily to the end of the isle, hoping to avoid a body check. Faster, faster I walked, then a relief, I made it to the end and walked straight ahead to stare feverishly at something to which I cannot recall. Oh, what I relief to be out to the intense laser beams that seemed to be piercing the back of my skull moments before.

Then I heard a "Sir" from behind me and trembling on the inside turned to make eye contact with this gentleman. In a moment I realized he wasn't talking to me and had my thought confirmed when he stated "That's one stubborn Mother F***** right there....". I, as the shock was beginning to set in, turned to see an employee well outside of an earshot from either of us.

I stood there for a minute running it through my head over and over again; this complete stranger just sought validation for his feelings of anger (more than likely a result of self shame for not previously understanding the direction of the employee to his much needed item) towards another complete stranger.

It just got me thinking about the depravity of the world. I had to stop myself from looking down on this man, part of my focus as of now, to loose the critical attitude. I actually just felt sorry for him, sorry that looking for a item in a store caused him that much distress. I guess on the way home it caused me to think over and over again about this fallen world, truly fallen. So fallen that a someone has to degrade a complete stranger in the face of another stranger to get by. I think stuff like this makes me think that there has to be a God and redemption in Christ, not simply because I personally think this world needs something so good in the face of bad, but maybe more so because I think there is no hope without Him.